In 2012, I fell in love with two gorgeous light fixtures, both ubiquitous on the design scene.

1. The “Maskros” from Ikea, possibly the coolest light ever, was made trendy by magazines such as House Beautiful and families as fashionable as the Kennedys (one family member hung the Maskros in triplicate above a table).

2. The Robert Abbey “Bling,” a popular flush mount and chandelier, which was almost as cool as the Maskros, but a lot more expensive.

I expected some DIY hardship from the Ikea, which is as famous for its sadistic designs as it is for its low prices (the Maskros retails for about $50). But assembling the Bling, which set me back $1,100, was even more brutal.

Both were insanely difficult to assemble.

When I tried to pop each of the paper flowers into the Ikea fixture, I thought my neck would break from the odd contortions I put it through trying to reach, hold and maneuver these flowers while trying to avoid falling off of my tiny stool. The next night I realized a ladder would be better than a stepstool, and things went a little better.

The Robert Abbey didn’t even include instructions. I kept checking online to make sure I was getting the order correct (big, little, big, little…I know, duh).

The chandelier’s glass drops have tiny metal arms that stick out of the top, and they must be pinched together and placed into a tiny hole in the metal. The tiny holes in the frames are impossible to see without the light bulbs on, and you have to be very close to the lights to reach the holes.

After about 15 minutes of fighting with little fish hooks, I was sweating. And that wasn’t all. If I hadn’t been diligent, the entire fixture would have fallen off the ceiling when I pulled on the frame, which I had to do in order to insert the paper flowers.

Some of the glass drops went in just fine. Every other one refused my efforts to insert it, and the metal popped out and poked my fingers.

A normal lighting designer would have made it possible to assemble these crazy little pieces onto the frame BEFORE you mounted it on the wall, but both fixtures were created so that was impossible (or so says my electrician, he may just have it out for me).

Illumination, Elimination and Jubilation

The Robert Abbey light casts a beautiful warm glow in my powder room, almost making me forget the agony of assembling it.

The Ikea light?

It stayed up long enough to be photographed in my breakfast room.

It has been replaced by the Carlyle Pendant by Paul Ferrante.

Another light I love is this really, cool, custom light I had made at Omega Lighting Design, a fantastic place in Berkeley, CA.

The glass-blown light fixture from the Czech Republic light makes me smile every I see them.